Hello. My name is Carrie and I’m an addict.
I haven’t been clean or sober since 2004 and I fear I may never be clean again. I fear this is it and that for the rest of my entire life I will always be an active addict. I had my suspicions that I was becoming addicted some 18 months ago when I first had ideas on studying for a Master’s degree.
It crossed my mind that this was quite an additional commitment but reassured myself that it was for the greater good and would improve my future. A month ago I committed myself to another bachelor’s degree ‘just because I could’ and that’s when I began to hear the faint tinkle of a bell somewhere off in the far reaches of my largely ignored subconscious, but I’ve heard it before and have developed an incredible talent for blocking it out. However, yesterday I hit rock bottom and that alarm bell rang so loud it deafened me. The trouble was that by then it was too late.
I bought a course on Groupon. I had some credit in my Groupon account and an online course came up for offer at £65 instead of £300 or thereabouts and it just seemed too much of a good deal to let slip, so I bought it. Now under normal circumstances I wouldn’t be so ashamed of it, I mean I’ve done a couple of courses at college and whatnot so I’m no stranger to doing little short courses in areas which I’m a bit interested, but oh good lord this course is just completely pointless for me…
It’s a TEFL course! TEFL… Teaching English as a Foreign Language – it’s for people who want to work abroad teaching foreigners how to speak English, something I will NEVER do!! So why did I buy it??? I hang my head in shame at my stupidity and can’t believe I was sucked in JUST because it was a bargain deal. So as well as my MA, my soon-to-start second BSc and my soon-to-finish certificates I’ve also got an Advanced TEFL course to fit in.
The OU has a lot to answer for. It’s brought out the best in me and that’s utterly undeniable, I’ve said before that the OU has changed my life and I’m not over exaggerating one little bit. However it’s also turned me into a bit of a monster. An education monster who’s hungry for courses and likes to chomp its way through textbooks and notepads and whose hunger is never quite fully satisfied.
I hope that one day I will be able to control my addiction and understand the factors which cause me to lapse, however, for now I can only take it one day at a time and hope I am able to cope with the burden it brings my way.
Thank you for listening and thank you for your support.