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Malta and beyond

Valletta, Malta
Travel has taught me never to greet people by shouting out the names of fish dishes. Oh yes, it has.

Last weekend I found myself on a tiny island visiting this adventure's twenty-second country and capital city. Malta, or at least Valletta - the only part of Malta I had an opportunity to see on this all-too-short visit - has a wonderful atmosphere. The buildings are tall and grand though their splendour is faded and dusty. Walking around its regular grid of streets at any time other than high noon provides shade and there always seems to be a cooling breeze coming from somewhere. And it feels exotic. The Maltese language is still spoken by two hundred thousand of the island's inhabitants. It's the only official EU language that's Semitic, and the only Semitic language written in the Latin script. It's stuffed full of Zs, and Js, and Qs, funky double-barred Hs and a scattering of diacritical marks on letters you wouldn't normally expect to wear them. But the exoticism is tempered with old-fashioned English shops with hairdressers' displays offering 1960s styles and underwear outlets promoting girdles. Do women still wear girdles? If Doctor Who landed here, it would take him a minute or two to work out in which decade he was.

In my short time there I went looking for something odd to eat. I was disappointed when the restaurant offering a rabbit burger on its menu outside couldn't deliver the goods. Instead I settled for a pizza with very herby Maltese sausages on it. Another Maltese possibility was Widow's Soup. Now, I've never eaten a widow and so I was tempted, but a little research told me that it was just a poor man's vegetable soup. The herby sausages had to do.

While on my quest for something out of the ordinary, I discovered a snack bar with an unusual concept. Y'know in tourist resorts when you see those photo menus? This restaurant had decided to go one better and pre-prepare their entire menu and place it behind a glass counter so that you could really see what you were getting. The only problem was that they'd obviously made most of this stuff days ago. I mean, it would be expensive to make it all every single day. The upshot of this was that the chips were wilted and the salad brown and limp , all garnished with dried up bits of cucumber. I'm not sure it's a strategy that's going to catch on.
I didn't want to leave. I'd only been there for around thirty hours. I wanted to get on my bike and cycle around the entire island, to see the villages as well as the tiny capital. But I have to keep moving if I'm going to be finished on this long year in time for exams and revision. Instead, Malta gets added to the ever-growing list of places to which I have to return and spend a serious amount of time, like Berlin, Prague, Rome and Naples.

Since then, I've been retracing my steps, back through Sicily and up the west coast of Italy's leg. Only today, a full week after Malta, did I start to head across to Italy's other coast. There's a ferry waiting for me in Bari, one that will take me to Greece and capital number twenty-three.

It's time to abandon what I've learnt of Italian and switch to my Greek audio course. I don't think many visitors to Greece bother trying to learn much of their language, and those that do sometimes get a little confused. The Greek word for 'Good day!' is 'Kalimera!'. When I was in the mountains of Greece many years ago, I walked behind a Brit who greeted each passerby with a friendly "Calamari!" He was basically yelling "Battered squid rings!" at everyone he saw. I'll try not to make the same mistake. See, the lessons of travel are always useful.
 

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Tweet Travel has taught me never to greet people by shouting out the names of fish dishes. Oh yes, it has. Last weekend I found myself on a tiny island visiting this adventure's twenty-second country and capital city. Malta, or at least Valletta - the only part of Malta I had an opportunity to see on this all-too-short visit - has a wonderful atmosphere. The buildings are tall ...

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About The UniCyclist

Hi, I'm Steven Primrose-Smith, otherwise known as The UniCyclist – one bloke, two wheels, two degree courses, one portable university and 50 capital cities. Nice to meet you!

I'm 40-year-old full-time student with The Open University and University of Wales, Lampeter. I got my first degree in 2008 in Philosophy and English from the OU and I'm currently planning my dissertation for an MA in philosophy with Lampeter as well as working through the necessary modules at the OU to get a degree in maths and another in physical science. The aim, once all these courses are done, is to be a well-rounded private tutor covering as many subjects as possible. But that's three years away. I might get squashed by a truck before then.

For 15 years I was a technical author and internet software developer, but other jobs that I've been paid for include (in order, from age 14): delivering newspapers, stocking supermarket shelves, working in a video shop cum off licence cum sunbed centre, playing a synthesizer (with one finger) in an awful band called The Slaves of Circumstance, buying electronic components, playing a synthesizer (now with two fingers) in an even worse band called Tuco Talks, graphic design, laying out newspapers, writing computer games, selling software online, knocking up websites, performing comedy, doing voices for radio ads, writing magazine articles, teaching people how to improve their computer skills, writing comedy sketches and, most recently, maths tutoring.

I did my first cycling tour in 1994 when I had a week on very windy Orkney. Shortly afterwards I was working in Austria and only did the occasional weekend tour although I had many a tipsy day-ride with friends out into the vineyards south of Graz. It wasn't until 2007 that I decided to get a bit more serious when I did an 11-day tour of western Andalusia. But the longest ride to date - in 2009 - was from the Isle of Man to the Costa del Sol, through the UK, France and Spain, lasting 32 days and covering 2,688 kilometres. It was that ride that gave me the idea for this one.

Other things I love doing include playing my guitar and keyboard (now with more than two fingers, but still not all of 'em), sailing, walking in the mountains, running, swimming and cooking.

This life is damn short, and it can be snatched away at any given moment. Whatever it is you want to do, just do it. Don't hang around. In other words, literally or metaphorically, get on your bike!

To find out more about the ride, including the rough route I'm planning to follow, or to donate money to the charities I'm cycling for, please have a look at my website at www.UniCycle50.com. And if you have any questions or would like to meet up, please email me at steven@unicycle50.com. See you on the road!
 


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