Tala Al-Shafee is an international BSc (Hons) Health Sciences student at the OU. She also volunteers with the OU in various ways, including being a Student Hub Live Ambassador, and a Unibuddy Ambassador. 

Ah, it’s that time of year again. The time where students are filled with both intense excitement and nerves as they embark on a whole new year of opportunities. For many, this is the start of a life-changing journey. And although this journey, like any other journey, comes with obstacles, the destination is worth every late night and extra chocolate bar you stress-eat.

But what if I told you about one mistake that most of us make as students, that places an additional, unnecessary, and extremely stressful obstacle in our way? And what if I said that there are many ways you could avoid making that mistake from day 1. This is actually a mistake that isn’t unique to the world of academia but can rob you of a lot of the joy you could be experiencing while you study and grow.

That mistake is none other than comparing yourself to others. It is like taking other people’s strengths and comparing them to your weaknesses. It is taking two completely different lives and completely different stories and putting them side by side in a way that wouldn’t give you any viable conclusions. Not only is it an unfair comparison, but you’re also forgetting to look at all your strengths, and all the great things that make you, you! You’ll also often end up forgetting to take into account all the things you might have on your plate that the other person doesn’t (or vice versa), or you might forget the fact that different people have different priorities, and different amounts of time to commit to certain things.

As a health sciences student, it would only be right for me to bring up science somewhere. If you think back to when you studied science at school, or read something online about some research, you’ll remember that when researchers are trying to compare two groups of people, they often look for people who are as similar as possible to obtain feasible results. Not only would that be very difficult to do at a university with over 170,000 (current) students, but also focusing on comparing yourself to others will hold you back from reaching your full potential. And, at the end of the day, learning is a very personal journey, particularly when it’s done with the OU.

So now that I’ve hopefully convinced you that this is a mistake better avoided, let’s start talking about solutions!

Awareness: Often when it comes to comparing ourselves to others, it is done subconsciously. So, the best place to start is noticing when you do it. Awareness can help you shift your focus to something more positive – something like what you did well today or a skill you’ve been developing that you’re proud of. Replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones will later become a habit, and help you see, appreciate and celebrate your achievements!

Sometimes Imperfect Is Perfect: One of the main reasons we compare ourselves to others is because we strive for perfection. And while trying to do well and get the best grades we can is great, it’s vital to let go of the idea of perfection. When you’re not constantly under pressure to do everything perfectly, you’re able to take deeper breaths, think more clearly and do better.

Appreciate Your Mistakes: Learning to appreciate and learn from your mistakes is so important. Once you start to look at feedback like advice rather than criticism, you’ll start to apply it. And once you start applying it and seeing how much of a difference it can make in your understanding of the subject and your development of certain skills, you won’t have time to think about or compare yourself to anyone else. You will be your main focus, and you’ll begin to grow without the pressure of being better than anyone other than your past self. You can learn more about how feedback can help you become a confident learner in the upcoming Student Hub Live session: Being a Confident Learner.

Success Is Not Just Grades: We often forget that there’s so much more to being a successful student than just good grades. There are skills that you learn, and so much growing you can and will do. Once you start to see success as more than just grades, you can shift your focus to more important things, and compare yourself less to others.

Remember Why You Started: Remember when you decided to start your journey as an OU student? Do you remember why you made that decision? Usually, the reason will be that you started for you – whether it be for a career development or change, or just to learn something new. There’s a high chance the reason had nothing to do with anyone else. Remembering that can help you shift your focus back to you.

Not Everything Works For Everyone: One really good way to stop comparing yourself to others is by attending Student Hub Live sessions. This is because when you attend sessions with 150+ students, and they’re all sharing different study techniques and ideas, you’ll start to see that even the best ideas may not work for everyone. This personally helped me realise that we’re all so different, and that there’s no way I can fairly compare myself to my peers when we can’t even decide on one study technique that works for all of us.

I know this is easier said than done. And despite all the research I did while writing this blog, this is something I still struggle with. But it’s something that I will continue working on, because I know once I’m able to stop doing it I will appreciate my uniqueness and find so much more joy in studying. So, try not to make the same mistake as me, enjoy learning, and always remember to celebrate how far you’ve come.