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<\/figure>\nOn the lookout.<\/span> My research explores the views and experiences of women with learning disabilities on sexual relationships and as part of my PhD I gave them a platform to talk openly about this taboo subject. I interviewed 16 women with mild to moderate learning disabilities who were members of Stars in the Sky, a pioneering dating agency that you might recognise from the Channel 4\u2019s Undateables<\/a>. These women wanted to be in a relationship. As Monica told me:<\/p>\n \u2026 look how long I will be in my 50s and then 60s and I am thinking I don\u2019t want to be in the same situation \u2026 being by myself as I become an old lady. I want somebody to settle down and spend the rest of my life with.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n When Barbara was asked why she had joined up, she said:<\/p>\n \u2026 I want to join because I was looking for relationships \u2026 To meet people, not necessarily a boyfriend straight away but friends to begin with.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The social networks that many people take for granted are often restricted for people with learning disabilities and they find it hard to engage or access social activities<\/a> where they can meet people and possibly form relationships. The challenge, however, is getting the right support. As Georgia, one participant in a 2014 study<\/a>, said:<\/p>\n I think I do need a bit of support \u2026 And that\u2019s to like, meet people \u2026 And that so yeah, gives me a bit of confidence to speak, and see if I can meet the right one, and could say to them, \u2018well what d\u2019you think about this \u2026 fella?\u2019.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n People with learning disabilities \u2013 both men and women \u2013 are vulnerable to sexual abuse<\/a> and need protection from this. Monica, for example, said:<\/p>\n [I have] never ever experienced a proper relationship in my life. It\u2019s just people taking advantage all my life yeah, and it\u2019s not right.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n But there should be a balance between protecting people from abuse and enabling them to get into relationships, otherwise people are denied their right to do so<\/a>. To prevent abuse, people with learning disabilities should have access to sex and relationships education, and caregivers should be prepared to discuss issues on sex and relationships openly in a proactive, rather than reactive, way. This would equip people with the knowledge they need to enjoy relationships in a safe way. Not being open or only dealing with issues in a reactive way is more likely to leave people vulnerable to abuse.<\/p>\n Professionals and caregivers also inappropriately apply the Mental Capacity Act 2005<\/a> to some people with learning disabilities, especially those with severe learning disabilities. The act states that the capacity to consent to sexual relationships must be assumed unless proven otherwise and an unwise decision does not necessarily imply a lack of capacity. Research that reviewed<\/a> cases on the capacity to consent to sexual activity highlighted failures in the implementation of the act and suggested a reframed capacity assessment informed by research into sexual decision making.<\/p>\n Special dating agencies can enable people with learning disabilities to find relationships and broaden their social networks. The decade has seen a growth of friendship and dating groups for people with learning disabilities, including HeartVenture<\/a>, and Luv2meetU<\/a> . They match people interested in forming relationships and support them on their first date.<\/p>\n Holding a candle for someone?<\/span> Stars in the Sky, one of the first to be set up, by two women with learning disabilities, is now unfortunately closing due to financial constraints. It also featured in The Undateables, and it is clearly evident from the series that support can enable people with learning disabilities to form relationships. And success is not only measured by a successful date but by the confidence that individuals gain by going on a date, too.<\/p>\n Samantha joined the dating agency because, she said:<\/p>\n I was struggling to find anyone on my own. And I want, I guess what every girl, woman would like to have partner or companion to share things with.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Jane\u2019s reason for joining was \u201cbecause I didn\u2019t want to be single anymore. I hate being on my own and being miserable.\u201d<\/p>\n Relationships have a positive impact on mental health and the well-being of people in general. This also goes for people with learning disabilities, and for it to happen their sexuality must be acknowledged. They need support to allow them the opportunity to form and develop relationships, and they should be empowered with the tools they need to consent to sexual relationships. Hopefully, if we get these things right, people with learning disabilities will be able to enjoy forming relationships in a safe environment, and fulfil their need to love and be loved.<\/p>\n Chido Ndadzungira<\/a>, PhD Student, The Open University<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n This article was originally published on The Conversation<\/a>. Read the original article<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This Valentine\u2019s Day will once again see a celebration of love. Unfortunately for many people with learning disabilities, this is just a dream. Although they may want to be in a relationship, they are often faced with barriers and challenges that prevent them finding what many take for granted. But specialised dating agencies can help […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":2290,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[630,1892,1931,2342,2427],"class_list":["post-2281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-disability","tag-relationships","tag-romance","tag-valentines-day","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2281"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2290"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.open.ac.uk\/blogs\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nLove by Shutterstock<\/a><\/span><\/p>\nProtection from abuse<\/h2>\n
Dating agencies<\/h2>\n
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\nLonely by Shutterstock<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n![\"The](\"https:\/\/counter.theconversation.edu.au\/content\/54444\/count.gif\")
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