A rigid construct of how \u201creal\u201d men are supposed to behave leaves many feeling trapped, new research we carried out suggests. ![\"The](\"https:\/\/counter.theconversation.edu.au\/content\/74898\/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic\")
\nWhile most support gender equality, the young men in the UK, US and Mexico reported feeling pushed to live in the \u201cman box\u201d. They feel pressure to act tough, hide weakness and \u201clook good\u201d. This can have damaging effects on their health and wellbeing, as well as their relationships with each other, and with women and children.<\/p>\n
Alongside online surveys conducted for this international study, we convened focus groups<\/a> with men between the ages of 18 and 30 in London and the north of England, representing diverse backgrounds in terms of ethnicity, religion and class.<\/p>\n The men we spoke to were keenly aware of influences \u2013 from family, peers, teachers, media \u2013 encouraging them to conform to certain models of masculinity. One said: \u201cThere is pressure everywhere to tell you what man you should be.\u201d Another added: \u201cYou have to be a young man who\u2019s got a nice house, who\u2019s got a nice car, who\u2019s got a family with kids, who\u2019s got a good job.\u201d At the same time, many felt that these images were difficult to live up to and remote from their experience.<\/p>\n The young men in our groups supported gender equality in theory. But many held on to traditional ideas about gender roles. They saw men as \u201cbreadwinners\u201d or \u201cprotectors\u201d and women as \u201ccarers\u201d and felt that societal attitudes hadn\u2019t changed dramatically.<\/p>\n \u201cThe jobs that society has a higher regard for \u2026 fall to men,\u201d one said. Nevertheless, a small number expressed resentment at what they regarded as the more favourable treatment of young women \u2013 including young mothers, when it came to custody issues or domestic disputes. \u201cIn the eyes of social media, social services and the law, the girl\u2019s always right when it comes to the child,\u201d said another.<\/p>\n Most of the young men in our focus groups claimed to be tolerant towards homosexuality \u2013 \u201cyou wouldn\u2019t discriminate against a gay person\u201d \u2013 while recognising that prejudice still exists in wider society. However, sexuality was clearly a topic that some found difficult to talk about in a group setting.<\/p>\n The young men we spoke with were aware of pressure to \u201clook good\u201d. Many had gone through a phase of working out but most had concluded that it was unhealthy and unfulfilling. That said, they thought the pressures on young women to conform to a particular body image were more intense than for young men.<\/p>\n Violence is still a feature of many young men\u2019s lives, with some regarding it as a way of maintaining status and an inevitable part of becoming a man. \u201cIt shapes young boys into men,\u201d said one. But some resented being seen as a threat and felt targeted by the police when out in public simply because they were young and male.<\/p>\n Some saw admitting to emotional problems as a sign of weakness. One spoke of dealing with mental health issues by \u201cdisconnecting myself a lot from other people, because I thought that was the manly thing to do\u201d. Others admitted that they found it difficult to express their feelings and were reluctant to seek help when distressed. One said: \u201cMen, we just deal with it differently \u2026 we\u2019ve got other channels of expressing our feelings.\u201d Others admitted that if they were having problems they would just \u201cbottle it up and get on with it\u201d or even \u201cturn it into a bit of a joke\u201d.<\/p>\n Personal relationships were important for these young men. Many spoke warmly about the support they had from their families. As one put it: \u201cThey always had my back.\u201d A number had grown up without a father, but many had positive relationships with their mothers and other female relatives.<\/p>\n Friendships were important too, with one young man saying that with friends \u201cyou don\u2019t feel like you have to put up a front\u201d. But others expressed regret at the prospect of losing close male friendships as they grew older, highlighting the risks of isolation and loneliness.<\/p>\n These focus groups have been part of a wider international study, which argues that breaking free from the \u201cman box\u201d is not something young men can do on their own. It concludes that parents, educators, the media, teachers, girlfriends, boyfriends, and others need to be part of the process of reinforcing positive, equitable, unrestrictive ideas of manhood.<\/p>\n Our discussions present a similarly complex picture. They confirm the importance of listening to young men\u2019s own perspectives on their lives and demonstrate that they need support<\/a> in resisting pressures to conform to the expectations and in realising their full potential.<\/p>\n Martin Robb<\/a>, Senior Lecturer, The Open University<\/a><\/em> and Sandy Ruxton<\/a>, Honorary Research Fellow, European Children’s Rights Unit, Law School, University of Liverpool<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n This article was originally published on The Conversation<\/a>. Read the original article<\/a>.<\/p>\n Find out more about Dr Robb’s research:<\/p>\nUnder pressure<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn.theconversation.com\/files\/162497\/width754\/image-20170326-18998-aznfwd.jpg\")
\nelijah henderson\/unsplash<\/span><\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n