Chapter 3

Life at St Lawrence's

I went to St Lawrence's on 24th September 1956 and I left there in 1972. That's a long time! I had my 21st birthday there. I didn't have a party but I had lots of cards sent me in. I didn't have anything like a party. They wished me a 'happy birthday'. The papers when I went in said I was an 'imbecile', that I was 'feeble-minded' - I didn't know that until now, when I've seen my records.

I thought St Lawrence's was boring when I first went there. I didn't like it. They had all these side wards, you know, when people were naughty or whatever they were put in side wards. You had more or less to help out - wash the floors, make your own bed, things like that. I used to make my bed anyway, I would never let anyone else make it because it was horrible. The beds were quite close together in those days, it was a tight squeeze turning round from one bed to another.

When we first went to St Lawrence's we weren't allowed to go to the shops unless you had a pass to got out. I remember those days. I didn't really like it there, I didn't like the food either, or their clothing. The food was disgusting. I'd wait for the staff to turn their back and then I'd put it in the pig bucket! Some of it was so bad I wouldn't even give it to a dog. They used to bring it on to the ward and plug it into the wall, wherever the sockets were. It got better over time but not up to my standards.

I didn't like the clothes either, but you had to wear them otherwise you'd wear nothing! What matters to me now is being out of St Lawrence's and being free, not having to go back. I wouldn't have been wearing a nice skirt like this in St Lawrence's, I'd be wearing an old dress that belonged to someone else. But there were people there that I did like. Some of the staff were quite nice to me on the wards I've been on, they've been all right, but I didn't like the place itself. It was more like what they used to call an institution. A lot of the staff there, they didn't know why I went there. It's stupid, isn't it? It doesn't make sense. I could read and write, and tell the time, and look after myself.

I met Muriel In St Lawrence's when she was very young. She was on C1 and I met her there when I took over and helped the staff out. Muriel's family came from Shepherd's Bush. I think her father owned a cafe or shop there. They were good parents, they never missed a week without going to see her. Twice a week they'd come, even when they retired to Brighton. They never missed. They were good people, they never complained. Her parents were very good to me. We used to go out together because they couldn't lift Muriel, they couldn't manage her. We used to have tea in the pavilion in the hospital grounds. They used to sell cups of tea there, and biscuits and cakes, or we could go out and get something else for her like an ice cream or those little fancy cakes with different coloured icing.

I helped the staff out on C1. They quite enjoyed it because it helped them out. I dressed them, put them in nightdresses, I was a good help to them. I quite enjoyed being with them, especially Muriel.

She is a happy sort of person. She's got a lovely smile. When you take pictures, sometimes she's not in the mood for people taking pictures of her - and she won't smile, won't even look at you. She'll look the other way. I'd never forget her. I told her parents that if anything happened to them I would never forget her. And now I'm registered as an advocate to her, so I'm near enough the next of kin.

When I first went to St Lawrence's I went to the Admissions Ward first, later I went to B3. It was what they called a 'high grade' ward. There was people going out, daily jobs and work, on different wards, or the laundry, wherever. I mostly went down to C1 which I quite enjoyed doing. C1 was for people with severe disabilities, people in wheelchairs, and with cerebral palsy and other things. I worked with the nurses.

Although I wasn't a nurse, I helped them out and I quite enjoyed it. I made beds, I was in the bathroom, and I was dressing them, doing their hair and then sometimes putting them to bed, which I quite enjoyed. I loved it. I like being with wheelchair people, I've got a way with them. Although I talk to them, I know they can't communicate with me very much back, but they understand what you're talking about, very much so. Muriel was transferred to C1 because of being in a wheelchair.

I dealt with Muriel specially. I thought she was the person I rather enjoyed being with. I washed Muriel, dressed her, cleaned her teeth, did all those sorts of things. I really did enjoy being with her, and a lot of other people who were there. Years ago when I helped out I used to watch other people doing what they do, and I'd join in with them. It's what I like doing. They always thank me for what I do, and what I've done for them.

I was in my early 30s when I left St Lawrence's. My first job was quite nice, it was Wrenpark Nursing Home, an old people's home near Whyteleafe House. I went to live at Whyteleafe which was a home run by St Lawrence's, and I worked part-time. I met my friend Mabel Cooper at Whyteleafe House. We found we had the same birthday. What a coincidence! We were meant to be friends. We were made for each other. My sister has got to know Mabel as well, I don't know if my mum would have if she'd been alive. I think she might have done, and dad too. I still went up to see Muriel while I was at Whyteleafe and working at the nursing home.

Then I saw this advert in the paper for a job at Purley Hospital. The social worker came down to see me and said there were two jobs with living-in accomodation either at Purley or Tunbridge Wells. I said I didn't know anybody at Tunbridge Wells, and it's too far away if I wanted to go home to see relatives - because most of my family are scattered about in East London.

Chapter 4 - My working life